WWE Summerslam 2006

SummerSlam 06
Boston, MA
TD Banknorth Garden
August 20, 2006

I was looking through my DVD shelf a few weeks ago and found that I still had a bunch of DVDs still sitting mint in the package. I made a pile of these with a few old favorites that I haven’t seen in years. I’m sooo into wrestling right now, I’ll be making my way through all of this stuff, 92 stuff, old 80s stuff, etc. This will probably all cool off tonight when hockey season begins though lol

I found I had a copy of Summerslam 2006 still in the wrapper. Pretty sure Matt gave this to me as a joke Christmas gift with a couple other Slams after he bought the boxset years back. This ended up being a really fun watch. Matt was brutal on this Summerslam, doling out an F rating for it. Most of 2006 gets a big fat F, but damn, there’s so many memories from that year, one of the last when I was still hardcore emotionally invested in the WWE.

Matt and I went to the movie theatre to see this Slam. Despite many plans over the years, this ended up being the only Summerslam we saw together in the theatre. It was also the first Slam we had watched live together since watching 95 with no sound at his grandma’s. We had been trashing the WWE hard for months leading up to this Slam, hating all things DX and McMahons, hating Hulk Hogan’s shitty return, hating the Ric Flair-Foley feud, hating the burial of the newcomers on the roster, etc. But yet there were still things we loved. We were huge fans of Edge and Lita, we loved the Edge-Cena feud and all of Edge’s hilarious antics like showing up at Cena’s house and beating up his dad, we were really intrigued by the relaunch of ECW and hiring all the old ECW legends before that was all royally trashed by the fall.

We were also still invested in the company and kept predicting that a turnaround was coming soon. We thought no year could possibly be as bad as 2006. Little did we know the horror that was to come beginning in 2009, and especially into the 10s. At least at this time the WWE was still a wrestling company, despite all the cock jokes and other bullshit.

1) Chavo Guerrero Jr. pinned Rey Mysterio Jr. at 10:59 with the brainbuster and frog splash after Vickie Guerrero, who came ringside midway through the match in an attempt to stop the fight, accidentally caused Mysterio to crotch himself on the top rope

Man this was great! One of the most insufferable aspects of 2006 was the nonstop Eddiesploitation and the sickeningly sweet sentiments from Rey Mysterio, like constantly pointing to the sky and chuckling about how Eddie is playing tricks on him. This feud started after Chavo came back from time off and turned heel on Rey and accused him of capitalizing on the death of his uncle. We loved this whole angle and I especially was a huge Chavo fan. I remember being pissed that it wasn’t him who won the Royal Rumble and received the title match at Mania in tribute to Eddie. Mysterio’s push just felt so fucking forced. This match is great as Chavo is an awesome dick heel, smacking Rey around and cursing him out. Chavo accidentally slaps the mask off of the back of Rey’s head at one point, which draws a big reaction from the fans. And that’s the other thing that makes this event a little better – the Boston fans are red hot for all of this stuff. Before she became a full time character, Vicky makes a surprise appearance and tries to get Rey and Chavo to stop fighting, but accidentally causes Rey to lose. I think that she went heel on Rey soon after this and her, Chavo, and Edge were La Familia. Fun way to open the show!

One thing I liked about this event was the video packages between the matches. They were short and concise, getting right to the point about what the feud was about. These packages just got so out of control in the 10s. These packages actually make you excited to see the upcoming match.

2) ECW World Champion the Big Show pinned Sabu in an extreme rules match at 8:31 following a chokeslam through a table set up inside the ring

The return of ECW was rumored all the way back to 2005, after the original One Night Stand. I remember closely paying attention to all the news and rumors about the return of ECW. 2005 would have been the perfect time, by 2006, it just felt like a year too late. And the WWE made it clear right off the bat that ECW wouldn’t exactly be ECW. The fucking Big Show?! You’ve got to be kidding me. He was bloated beyond belief, looking like he was about to die in the ring as Matt pointed out, and was shoved on ECW because they had nothing else for him to do. So that in a nutshell is what the WWE thought of ECW. It was surreal seeing that battered old loser Sabu in a singles match on a WWE PPV. I’ve never understood the love the net fans have for that guy, as his matches are just the shits. Back in the 90s, I totally bought into the stories about Sabu I’d read in the Apter mags and early net reviews. I remember being extremely (heh heh) disappointed when it turned out his matches were almost all crap. No doubt he had a few all-time ECW classics, but by this point, he was a broken down mess. This match is a complete car crash, which made it oddly entertaining. They were playing up the ECW brand hard, and Joey Styles and Tazz worked in a few mini shoots, but wow, two broken down losers beating each other up with broken chairs and tables…. there was no chance for ECW. No chance in hell.

One of the funniest and stupidest moments of the summer of 2006 was the return of Hulk Hogan, along with Brooke, on Saturday Night’s Main Event. As had been rumored about for months, this brought out Randy Orton to hit on Brooke and confront the Hulkster. We were treated to some of the dirt worst acting courtesy of Brooke, after Orton sloppily took out the Hulkster with an RKO on the trunk of a car in the parking lot.

3) Hulk Hogan pinned Randy Orton at 10:57 with a boot to the face and the legdrop

Well this was a complete piece of crap, as expected, but, much like the last match, was weirdly watchable. Quality was non-existent, but seeing that red and yellow racist overselling for Orton was so amusing. The match drags on and on though, and finally it looks like Orton wins with the RKO, which would have been the right finish. BUT NO!!! Hulk Hogan’s foot is on the rope and the match must continue! Why? Because it’s Hulk Hogan! Hogan mounts a cheap comeback and puts Orton away. Wrong finish, but that Orton kid did okay in the end.

Highlights were shown of the Mick Foley-Ric Flair feud. Man, I read the funniest thing about Foley on the net recently. Someone was complaining about how the WWE endlessly drags him out time and time again, and he’s the epitome of that age-old saying “how can we miss you if you never go away?” Anyway, I’ve seen this feud described as too “inside baseball” which is so true. It was based around some shoot comments in Flair and Foley’s books, and stemmed from their WCW days, which fans clearly didn’t understand or give a shit about. Most people were confused why these two old farts suddenly hated one another.

4) Ric Flair defeated Mick Foley in an I Quit match at 13:12 when Foley stopped the match when it appeared Flair was about to hit Melina, who came ringside late in the contest, with a barbed wire baseball bat; the match originally ended at 10:25 when the trainer deemed Foley unable to continue after he fell to the floor with his head landing on a trash can; moments later, Flair grabbed the mic and said Foley never quit so the match had to continue; the match again ended at 12:19 when Melina threw in the towel as Flair drove a barbed wire baseball bat into Foley’s head with the intention of injuring his eyes but Flair again said the match had to continue because Foley didn’t himself give up

What in the fuck! What a needlessly violent and bloody mess. Why in the hell did a Foley-Flair match require barbed wire baseball bats, thumbtacks, and excessive bleeding? In 2006 I was pretty excited to see this match, as I expected Foley to beat Flair and for them to shake hands or something after. But sitting in the theatre, I was disgusted by this needlessly violent match. Flair bleeds a sick amount and for NO REASON! This match did not require barbed wire being raked across faces. If it was a true hate-filled war, like say Foley-Orton, then sure, bring on the violence and weapons! But a feud based on comments in books? Yeah, no. There was also the bizarre and nonsensical addition of Melina, who Mick creepily had been praising on the internet for months. How did they expect fans to understand any of this?! Foley finally quits because Flair is threatening to hit Melina with a barbed wire baseball bat. Now that’s sick! WTF, what a mess.

5) Batista defeated World Heavyweight Champion King Booker (w/ Sharmell) via disqualification at 10:29 when Sharmell interfered as the challenger attempted the sit-down powerbomb

This match was highly anticipated at the time. Batista was making his return after being injured back in January or whatever. During a promo photo shoot for Summerslam, him and Booker T got into a real, much publicized, brutal fight. Booker was pissed at Batista’s poor attitude and undeserving push. I remember reading all the accounts of that fight on the net at the time, and fans were really excited to see that real life hatred carry over into this match. Nope. Instead, we got a safe, Smackdown TV main event. All the King Booker stuff was hilarious to see again, but wow, it must have been irritating to hear/see that week in and week out on Smackdown. Booker/Sharmell and Edge/Lita had a hilarious exchange earlier in the night about who was the better power couple in the company. I love heel shit like that! This match limps along and Batista wins in the cheapest manner possible, when Sharmell interferes.

Somewhere on this card we got to see the announcement that the winner of the diva’s search was Layla! Hooooo boy Layla was looking great at this time. This lead to some wacky segment where she was given the cold shoulder in the women’s locker room, but then they decided to haze her in the shower. Phenomenal! The soaked her in cold water and hiked up her skirt to give her a spanking!

6) Shawn Michaels & Triple H defeated Vince & Shane McMahon at 13:02 when Triple H pinned Vince with the Pedigree following the superkick from Michaels

Oh fucking hell, nope, I fast forwarded straight through this hot garbage. One super irritating trend from this era were guys like DX and John Cena mowing through the entire roster like a bunch of fucking nobodies. How in the fucking hell did Michaels and Triple H survive that kind of a beating only to win in the end? Makes no fucking sense. As Matt said, are DX even human?? Garbage.

Throughout the night we got highlights and interviews promoting the Edge-Cena title match. Holy shit this feud was awesome! I love that the company wasn’t PG yet, so we got to hear Edge bragging about bitch slapping John Cena’s dad!!!! HIS DAD!!! Holy fuck that’s so great! Edge was a phenomenal heel in 2006, easily the best part of the year. He came across as a total dick, and he had the girl and he had the title. Fucking awesome.

7) WWE World Champion Edge (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Lita) pinned John Cena at 15:41 after hitting Cena in the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles, placed on his hand by Lita, behind the referee’s back after Cena dropped Lita with the FU as she climbed on Edge as Edge was set up for the FU; pre-match stipulations stated Edge could lose the title on a disqualification

Mannnnn was Lita looking hot out there with Edge. Talk about not giving her enough credit back then. She was amazing! Outstanding main event. As Matt noted, a segment of the Boston fans were solidly behind Edge and booing Cena throughout. Cena to his credit, was a much better character still at this time. He still had a bit of a gritty, underdog side, and again to his credit, really gave it his all in this match. I’ve never been the hugest fan of Edge’s offense, more so his character, but props to him for also bringing it against Cena. They had tremendous chemistry. One fun stipulation was that Edge could lose the title by DQ, and there were a couple anxious moments when Lita was about to interfere or pass Edge a chair. Just great character work. Edge surprisingly wins the title after a super cool spot where Cena FU’s Lita off of Edge’s back and gets drilled with brass knux by Edge. I think we were all expecting the obvious finish of Cena winning the title in his hometown. Probably would have made way more sense in hindsight, but Edge was the best at this time, so I was happy to see him go over.