WWE Royal Rumble 2006

Royal Rumble 06
Miami, FL
American Airlines Arena
January 29, 2006

With all the Royal Rumble fever going around these days I decided to catch up on a couple of Rumbles I’ve only ever seen once. I curious to check out the 2006 Royal Rumble once again, since I remembered almost nothing from the first time I watched it.

Right off the bat I have to say this was a great show; much better than I remembered, and a Rumble that’s become a lot better with age.

The biggest factor here were the memories. This time period of my life was really awesome in so many ways. I was several months into my new job, and was planning on moving in with my girlfriend and going on a trip to Japan in a couple months time. Work was very slow in these early months, so I had tons of time to surf the ‘net, watch WWE over my lunch breaks, etc. I was going over to Matt’s to watch Raw on a fairly regular basis, and soon we’d be watching it together nearly every week from his new apartment.

We both loved and hated so many of the angles in the WWE at the time, but this late 2005-early 06 era was pretty damn good. We didn’t fully appreciate what we had, because several months later it would all go down the crapper, quite literally, with the return of DX and other garbage that completely soured a year that started out so well.

This early 2006 time was especially memorable. I’ll admit – during this era, I was fully on board with all the “Eddiesplotation”, as the horrible lows were still to come. We both loved Edge winning the title in a huge surprise from John Cena, just weeks before. It was in late 05 that the groundswell of hatred towards Cena started to bubble up, and I remember being really tired of him at this time, and marking out huge for Edge’s win. We had been big Edge supporters for a long time, but he was never quite able to rise above mid-card status, until his Rated R persona took hold. Nostalgia was slowly creeping its way deeper into the WWE. For years we had longed for the company to acknowledge more of its past stars, and popped for the returns of guys like Piper and Mr. Perfect previously. We loved the return of Hacksaw Jim Duggan in early 06 and laughed our asses off at him. Perhaps the greatest and best storyline of all from this time, was the debut of the seemingly unstable Mickie James. We, me especially, never fully appreciated the divas of the early 2000s, until late 2005 when I started really paying attention to how awesome Trish and Lita were, and how great they were in the ring. The debut of Mickie came at the perfect time. The story was so insane and original.

All of these great memories came flooding back to me as I watched this event, and I was highly entertained by all the action. The event is far from perfect, as there were some really dumb decisions and moments, but overall it’s highly entertaining, and one of my new favorites from the modern era.

1) Gregory Helms defeated WWE Cruiserweight Champion Kid Kash, Sho Funaki, Jamie Noble, Paul London, and Nunzio to win the title at 7:42 after throwing Noble to the floor as Noble applied the dragon sleeper on Funaki and then hitting the Shining Wizard on Funaki for the win; the bout was open to any former cruiserweight champion

I’ve always been a huge fan of these multi-man cruiserweight battles, like the one at Wrestlemania 20. It’s interesting how unique Smackdown and Raw used to be. It was lost on us at the time how much different the two shows really were, and how Smackdown was still much more wrestling oriented at this time. I’m surprised I didn’t become a full time Smackdown fan once the DX crap began. Anyway, tons of action and insane spots in this match. Really liked this crop of cruiserweights. I remember being a big Helms fan at this time, when he turned heel and ditched the Hurricane gimmick. The crowd isn’t really into him yet, but he would go on to a year-long cruiserweight reign and really dominate Smackdown going forward.

In between the matches there were hilarious segments featuring Mr. McMahon, and one of my absolute favorite heel stables from this era – Torrie Wilson, Candace Michelle, and Victoria (along with their dog Chloe) – doing the drawings for the Rumble. Good grief was Candace attractive during this era. Even Torrie and Victoria were looking particularly sultry. McMahon was doing his usual old man pervert routine, but it was actually pretty funny in these segments. Of course the feud between McMahon and Shawn Michaels was hyped during this moments, and we all know what that lead to.

2) Mickie James pinned Ashley at 7:46 with a modified powerbomb as Ashley stood on the ropes and punched away at Mickie; prior to the bout, Mickie told guest referee WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus backstage that she loved her; after the bout, Mickie hugged and attempted to grope Trish before leaving the ring

Holy fuck was Mickie ever attractive during this era. ANYWAY, there was a wrestling match here between Mickie and that Avril Lavigne clone Ashley, but the real storyline was of course between Mickie and the guest ref Trish. Before the match Mickie told Trish that she loved her, and tried to hug and celebrate with Trish after the match. So, so, so awesome.

3) The Boogeyman pinned John Bradshaw Layfield (w/ Jillian Hall) with the pumphandle slam at 1:56 after JBL hit the corner while attempting the Clothesline from Hell; prior to the bout, the Boogeyman stalked JBL and Jillian inside the ring, eventually crawling on top of Jillian and spitting worms into her mouth before JBL attacked him from behind to start the match

I don’t care if the Boogeyman sucked, he’s a huge memory of this time. I still remember Matt calling me on a Saturday morning in late 2005 to tell me all about this new wrestler – the Boogeyman – that debuted on Smackdown by smashing a clock on his head. We laughed endlessly about the Boogeyman for months after, with Matt always filling me in on his Smackdown antics. It’s funny how JBL was a year-long, dominant champ, but much like the Honky Tonk Man, after dropping the belt, he became a comedy foil. I laughed my way through this battle, even at all the disgusting worm moments, like the Boogeyman mounting newcomer Jillian Hall and drooling worms into her mouth and cleavage. Gross! What a fun throwback to the 92 kind of times.

4) Rey Mysterio Jr. won the 30-man Royal Rumble match by last eliminating Randy Orton at 1:02:15

I hardly remembered this Royal Rumble. My only impression of it was that it wasn’t very good, a loser won it, and it was jammed in the middle of the card. Despite the winner and it’s placement, this was an excellent Rumble match. The reason it was placed in the middle was for that beyond stupid Undertaker segment at the end, where he made the ring collapse by waving his hand. Any match after the Rumble simply feels anticlimactic to me. Rey Mysterio winning was a really lame move in hindsight. His showing and victory didn’t feel special at all. Unlike Flair or Shawn Michaels, or even Triple H in this match (who goes end to end with Mysterio), he basically does nothing for the hour that he’s out there. He’s barely mentioned, just lies in a corner, does the odd high spot, and gets beat up randomly. Triple H’s showing is far more impressive, as he’s constantly in the thick of the action and making lots of eliminations. My original pick to win this Rumble was Chavo Guerrero, believe it or not, because I thought they would do something to honor Eddie. Well Chavo has one of the worst showings of the match, barely lasting a minute, which angered me so much back then. Realistically, Rey was more marketable, but they should have never given him the Mania shot. They should have had him drop it in an angle or something. Regardless of these complaints, the actual booking of this Rumble match was fantastic. 2006 featured a really unique situation, in that most of the heavyweights come in during the first 10 numbers of the match. Much like Bulldog and Flair in 92, Rey and HHH dump a couple of mid-carders early before the big guys hit the ring. We get a pretty good battle of big men, including Kane, the Big Show, and Lashley, who was the hot newcomer. Soon all of these guys would be out, including a moment I totally marked out for, when Triple H dumps both Kane and Show! The ring begins filling up with mid-carders and upper mid-carders in the teens, and stays full right till the end. Lots of guys do good showings, like MNM, Eugene, Trevor Murdoch, and even special surprise guest Tatanka. There are a few quick eliminations, but the ring never clears and stays full. Lots of different wrestlers make eliminations, even semi jobbers like Viscera, who dumps perennial internet darling Matt Hardy in hilarious fashion. The stupidest moment of all comes near the end, when McMahon’s music plays and everyone stops what they’re doing. While McMahon and Michaels jaw back and forth, Shane O’Mac jumps from the crowd and eliminates Michaels, even doing that dumb little dance. Michaels jumps back in the ring to go after Shane, but gets attacked by Triple H and almost pedigreed before reversing. Funny, since those two would together be feuding with the McMahons in just a couple months. The final two eliminations suck, as Mysterio eliminates both Orton and HHH in ridiculous and unconvincing fashion, where Orton and HHH practically have to jump over the top rope. The crowd gives a nice pop, but nothing huge. The Eddie Guerrero stuff goes into overdrive, with Rey crying and the announcers going crazy about Eddie putting Rey to the test in this Rumble. Sure, it’s a nice moment, but Rey was an unconvincing winner, especially considering that he had no main event history prior to winning. He would be booked like a loser going forward, so this moment feels cheap overall.

5) John Cena defeated WWE World Champion Edge (w/ Lita) via submission with the STFU to win the title at 14:03 after Edge collided with Lita on the ring apron and the challenger hit the FU

The fact that these matches came after the Rumble cheapens them somewhat in my opinion, especially since they were going with the heartfelt, emotional ending of Rey winning. Regardless, the Cena-Edge feud from early 06 was fantastic. Edge’s gloating and arrogance was so awesome, and he was the perfect dick heel with a hot girlfriend. Edge’s first title reign was legendary, with the live sex celebration and the great mic work. This feud is what turned many fans off of Cena, because that’s when he really started amping up the schmaltz, such as his ridiculous entrance here, which involved a giant scaffold being lowered from the ceiling for him to walk down, okay…. The match itself is a really fun battle, with tons of action in and out of the ring. Lita was looking particularly great, and I forgot what an awesome heel she was at this time. Cena takes everything Edge throws at him and comes back to win with the STFU, despite Edge vowing not to be a transitional champion. At the time, we hated this ending so much because of how much we liked Edge. Watching it now, I know what a great career Edge went on to have, so it doesn’t bug me nearly as much. I guess they were just testing him out as champ to see how the fans would react.

6) World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle pinned Mark Henry (w/ Daivari) with a roll up at 9:30 after using a drop toe hold to send the challenger head-first into an unprotected middle turnbuckle; immediately after the bout, the Undertaker rode onto the stage on a chariot and motioned to Angle that he wanted the championship before lighting hit all four corners of the ring, causing the ring to collapse

This ridiculousness closes the Royal Rumble. Why on Earth would this be the main event of the show? I simply never got behind Kurt Angle as a babyface. I remember the internet going gaga over him in this era. His matches were good to great, but he was better off as a dickish heel. I’ve also never bought into Mark Henry as a real main eventer, since he always comes up short in these matches and overall sucks. Still, this was a decent enough battle, and would have been an all right Smackdown main event, but it made zero sense to close the show. The best part was Kurt Angle going after his former manager Daivari (whom he called a little bastard in his pre-match promo, which had me doubled over laughing), and he really cranks him with a sick chair shot to the head. Angle of course comes out victorious, but the worst was yet to come. The Undertaker’s music plays, and he rides out on a white horse (WTF), then proceeds to raise his hands and shoot lightning bolts that cause fireworks to go off and the ring to collapse. Now that’s fucking stupid!

It’s a shitty end to an otherwise fun and enjoyable PPV. The Rumble itself was great, and there were a lot of interesting characters and stories that made this era very exciting. I recommend checking this one out again.