WWE Extreme Rules 2013

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Extreme Rules
St. Louis, MO
Scottrade Center
May 19, 2013

I started watching this event a month and a half ago, and I finally finished it this morning. I was bored silly through this whole card. I’ve enjoyed most WWE PPVs going back to Survivor Series last year, but this was a real dud of an event.

1) Chris Jericho pinned Fandango

Is the Fandango craze still going on? I’m super far behind in WWE news. I’m going to have to catch up over the course of today. The commentary on this event was BEYOND irritating. Constant references to “extreme rules” when regular things happened like Jericho throwing a punch. This was one of the best matches on the card, which isn’t saying much since it was basically at a Raw level.

2) Dean Ambrose pinned WWE US Champion Kofi Kingston to win the title

Ambrose was awesome here. Big fan of his work, but in the highlights leading up to this they showed John Cena mowing through the Shield on Raw in a handicap match. So much for the specialness of this unit. Still, Ambrose was awesome in destroying Kofi B. Ware for a title that means jack shit.

3) Sheamus defeated Mark Henry in a strap match

Ugh, this was hard to sit through. I nearly fell asleep as one half of the Powers of Plain, the Bore-Barian, lived up this name. Again, the commentary was just BRUTAL, especially Michael Cole’s shilling.

4) Alberto Del Rio defeated Jack Swagger in an I Quit match

So much for Swagger. What a sad end to a great gimmick. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s been fired. Del Rio overcomes all odds to make Swagger say “I Quit”. The ref did the Piper Mania 11 thing by constantly asking each wrestler if they wanted to quit.

5) Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns defeated WWE Tag Team Champions Daniel Bryan & Kane to win the titles in a Texas Tornado match

One of the better matches on this card. This was a fun brawl, and Rollins and Reigns are at least a unique team. Kane’s work seems a little better and faster paced with Bryan so this was at least watchable. Again, too bad the tag titles mean absolutely nothing any more.

6) Randy Orton pinned the Big Show in an extreme rules match

LOL, I completely skipped this match. Just can no longer watch these two losers.

7) WWE World Champion John Cena fought Ryback to a no contest in a last man standing match

What the hell was this! It was your usual John Cena bullshit match, as he takes a beating but just won’t quit. No matter what Ryback threw at him, he just wouldn’t stay down. It was as boring and predictable as it sounds. The ending was just ridiculous as Ryback spears Cena through the entrance display and sparks fire all around. They spend 10 minutes focusing on Ryback and Cena needing medical attention while the announcers put on their overly dramatic, serious voices, only to then get excited by the steel cage match and forget all about the grave injuries suffered. Garbage.

8) Brock Lesnar pinned Triple H in a steel cage match

Probably the best match on this card, which is ridiculous given that it’s two part-timers in the friggin’ MAIN EVENT! Lesnar has become way more of a regular WWE wrestler, and the announcers pretend that his feud and loss to Cena the year before never happened. Good old-fashioned cage brawl. The one negative was the focus on the fuckin’ sledgehammer! Why is that in every single Triple H match? Get a new gimmick already! Weird ending to this PPV as Lesnar destroys Triple H and pins him after the F5. So will this feud never end?