WWE Wrestlemania XXIII

(Guest written by Matt)

General Comments: I still feel the same way about Wrestlemania 23 as I did back when we first saw it at the theatre in 2007. I remember going into that Wrestlemania thinking it was going to be terrible based on the lineup and the generally downhill direction the company seemed to be headed down at the time. But at the time I was pleasantly surprised that they did still deliver a good Wrestlemania. Mania 23 is not really one of the all-time great Manias, but it is still a very good event. In general, to quote Danny at the time: “The matches that were supposed to be good were good. And the matches no one cared about sucked.” That same description could actually describe Mania 22 as well, though I didn’t feel that way at the time. Basically, Mania 23 has three outstanding matches, the two title bouts and the Lashley-Umaga match. Other than that, the card itself is pretty blah. But it does still have an epic Wrestlemania feeling, being in the colossal Ford Field in Detroit, with a hot crowd, excellent commentary for the most part (except for that moron JBL), great buildup to the matches etc. Wrestlemania 23 is the last Wrestlemania that I own so this could now be the end of my Wrestlemania reports.

Money In The Bank: Mr. Kennedy def. Edge, King Booker, CM Punk, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Finlay, and Randy Orton: You would think based on the tremendous range of talent in the ring during this one that it would be the greatest MITB ever, but it actually sucks pretty hard. The first two MITBs at Manias 21 and 22 were really awesome because it was a new concept and the guys tried really hard to invent new spots for the match and make it exciting. But this match is just boring. Its mainly stalling on the outside and a few acrobatic stunts thrown in here and there. The Hardys were the most entertaining guys in this match because of the risks they take, but some of the stuff they do is just stupid and you just want to tell them to cut it out before they kill themselves. I’m not a big fan of Kennedy winning because he’s so damn annoying, and I was really hoping to see CM Punk win. But I guess it wasn’t his time. Apparently it wasn’t Kennedy’s time either as he never even had a chance to face the champ and just lost his MITB shot to Edge anyways.

The Great Khali def. Kane: Another terrible match. But what would you expect with these two fat tubs of shit? Actually to be fair, Kane can sometimes have a good match with the right guy. But he’s not one for carrying other fat tubs of shit. Its amazing that Khali is still employed by WWE now in 2011. At the time no one ever expected him to last beyond losing the Punjabi Prison match to Undertaker several months before this.

US Title: Chris Benoit def. MVP: Yawn again! Wow, three bad matches in a row. At Wrestlemania 20, the commentators kept going on and on about Benoit breaking the glass ceiling of the WWE. Well apparently he never broke any glass ceiling at all, as that was his only moment in the sun. And at the last few Manias, he’s been in crappy mid-card matches no one cares about like this. I really hate MVP. I’ve always hated that Power Ranger and I always will.

World Title: Undertaker def. Batista: Now, finally we have a great match. Funny because at the time I was expecting this match to be bad because Taker and Batista are both notoriously lazy in the ring. But at Wrestlemania, they both tend to deliver. And I was pleasantly surprised at the time and now as to how good this match is. It kind of reminds me of Taker-Sid from Mania 13, an underrated main event in my opinion. Both matches start out slow, but once they get going there is some great action, lots of brawling outside the ring and weapons use, and a genuine feeling like anyone can win. Once again, I think Taker’s streak could have ended here as Batista needed the win far more than he did, but of course that was never going to happen.

ECW Originals def. New Breed: Boy oh boy, did ECW ever suck at this point! I hated the return of ECW in 2006 but I now actually think it was a good angle looking back. But by this point, ECW is less than a joke. Its basically just OVW having a nationally broadcasted TV show. This match is generally pretty terrible and ridiculously short. And I don’t quite understand what the point was of having The Originals win. If they really wanted to create new stars, shouldn’t the New Breed have won? Not that Marcus Cor Von or Matt Striker were ever going to be elevated to Raw or Smackdown, but you understand what I’m getting at.

Bobby Lashley def. Umaga: Surprisingly this match was great. It had a great classic wrestling storyline behind it. The stipulation of a billionaire getting their head shaved added all kinds of anticipation to the match. Stone Cold was a great guest referee as always. And the match itself actually delivered in the ring. This may be the best match Lashley ever had because he sure sucked in every other match I ever saw him in. He kind of reminds me of the early Ahmed Johnson before he got hurt and his workrate went down the toilet. Anyway, a great epic battle with an awesome epilogue of McMahon getting shaved bald. I remember my dad and uncle laughing their asses off in the theater at that and it is pretty funny. Kudos to Vince for once as he embarrassed himself in front of 80 000 people at Wrestlemania.

Lumberjill Women’s Title Match: Melina def. Ashley: The worst match on the card hands down. This match is full of botched moves and only lasts about three minutes. The lumberjills at ringside do absolutely nothing and the camera doesn’t even focus on them so they aren’t even out there to look hot on TV. Melina and Ashley do nothing for me really. Maybe if it had been Maria vs. Brooke Adams.

WWE Title: John Cena def. Shawn Michaels: You can look at this main event in two different ways. Negatively speaking, the match has no heat on it whatsoever, and doesn’t feel like anything more than just a political match created by the mid-2000s WWE version of the Kliq. It would have made a lot more sense for Shawn to put over a rising star earlier in the card, and have Cena elevate a new top heel. Also, the entrances are really getting dumb at this point. Does anybody really believe Cena was driving that car? And why does Shawn have the DX music and entrance? Now on the other hand, positively speaking, this is one of the most epic main events in modern Wrestlemania history. The two guys pull out all the stops, do all kinds of super moves and countermoves, kick out of everything the other guy throws at them, battle outside the ring etc. The match is at least as good as the Cena-HHH main event from the year before, maybe even a little better. The crowd is hot, and mostly behind Michaels which makes sense for the time. Michaels pushes Cena to the absolute limit but “does the right thing” by putting him over. At least it still seemed like “the right thing” at the time because Cena wasn’t quite at the point yet of being the unstoppable Hulk Hogan that he is now. You know, thinking about it, John Cena may be the single most dominant wrestler in WWF/E history as he has won probably close to 90% of his matches over the last 5 or 6 years and unlike Hogan who only wrestled a few times a year back in the 80s, Cena dominates every PPV and ever Raw week after week, month after month, year after year. But with all that being said, this really is a great battle.