WWE Wrestlemania XXII

(Guest written by Matt)

General Comments: Wrestlemania 22 is definitely one of the all time great Wrestlemanias. However; not too long ago, I rated it as my number 5 favorite Wrestlemania of all time. At this point, I would no longer rank it that high. It would still be in my top 10, but not my top 5. For every outstanding Wrestlemania caliber match on this card, there is a terrible match or a really poor booking decision that brings down the quality of the event. Its also hard not to remember how bad 2006 became after this, and how this event got the ball rolling on some of the worst storylines in WWE history. But for now, this is a great night of wrestling. I love the setup, the banners showing all the wrestlers (except for Hogan who they shouldn’t have been showing since he had nothing to do with this event), the outstanding commentary, and all the cool technology and effects. I also think at least half of the matches on this card are classics. And I genuinely enjoyed the buildup to this event. As bad as 2006 was, at least they still worked hard to get Wrestlemania over in these days.

Kane and Big Show def. Carlito and Chris Masters: This was one of the crappier matches on the card, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. It was actually kind of a fun little old school tag team match. Of course it featured four terrible wrestlers, none of whom should have been at Wrestlemania in the first place, and it was two pointless makeshift teams competing over a completed devalued pair of tag titles. But nonetheless, the in-ring action was no worse than an 80s Wrestlemania opener like Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton and Muraco.

Money in the Bank: Rob Van Dam def. Shelton Benjamin, Ric Flair, Finlay, Bobby Lashley, and Matt Hardy: Surprisingly, despite the lackluster ranks of this match, it was actually a pretty damn good battle. It was obviously carried by Van Dam, Benjamin and Hardy who had all the best spots. Flair, Finlay and Lashley were all just there for a payday and just kind of got in the way. But I actually found this MITB match to be one of the best ever. It was edge of your seat exciting, and the concept was still fairly fresh at this point, because this was still only the second one ever, and also it is still only six guys, not eight like it would become in later years.

JBL def. Chris Benoit: Yawn! This match is pure boredom. As great of a worker as Benoit was, he was not able to get a good match out of JBL. Funny because John Cena accomplished just that at Mania 21. But this match is just all boring stalling and restholds. And JBL winning is just completely retarded.

Edge def. Mick Foley: This match is kind of slow paced, but I can’t criticize it much for that after I gave a decent rating to the extremely slow HHH vs. Batista match at Mania 21. This is not a wrestling match, it is a spot fest, and one of the most exciting spot fests I’ve ever seen. Foley definitely got his defining Wrestlemania moment that they keep hyping throughout this match, as not only is this match great, but the ending is more “ECW” than ECW. The spear through the burning table is one of the most amazing moments I have ever seen in wrestling. Plus, Foley loses to Edge, which was the right thing to do.

Boogeyman def. Booker T and Sharmel: First of all, the comedy before this match is not funny, but just simply annoying. And I can’t believe Ted Dibiase really lowered himself to being a “freak”. As for the match, it sucks, plain and simple. The Boogeyman wrestles like he belongs in the indies, not to mention how disgusting his gimmick is. This is not a great performance for Booker either as he spends the match trying to either protect Sharmel, or running in fear of Boogeyman. Sharmel should not have been part of this match whatsoever. In fact, this match should have been cut from the card, as it sucks worse than Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo.

Mickie James def. Trish Stratus: Now after that piece of garbage, once again we have a great match! The show really seems to be like two shows running at the same time and taking turns, an epic Wrestlemania, and a piece of shit. Maybe the kid in the other universe was doing this card with his really dumbassed friend who didn’t know good wrestling from a hole in the ground. Anyway, this match is well worked in the ring and even features some awesome high spots. Both ladies look hot too and Mickie is just bursting out of that top. The crowd in Chicago is great as they boo the hell out of Trish and cheer wildly for Mickie, which is just what I was thinking at the time. This is probably my favorite match at Mania 22.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry: And yes, again a shitty match. They really are taking turns here, I swear. This casket match is slow, lumbering and awful. Undertaker can wrestle a great match, but he needs to be in there with the right guy. He is not capable of carrying a fat turd like Henry.

Shawn Michaels def. Vince McMahon: This is a match that was really great on this particular night, but remembering the aftermath with McMahonism, DX, and the Spirit Squad inevitably hurts its quality a bit. It is a good thing they had Michaels beat McMahon up all match long as the few points in this match where McMahon is in control are dreadfully boring. But whenever Michaels has control of the match, you can’t help but get super excited about him kicking the shit out of that irritating old man. The ladder through table spot is again, one of the most amazing “ECW” moments in WWE history. And Jim Ross’ insanity on commentary also makes this match feel epic.

Rey Misterio def. Kurt Angle and Randy Orton: At the time, this was my least favorite match on the card. For some reason, I remember it being only like five minutes long and really rushed feeling. But that actually turned out not to be the case. The match is normal length and was actually quite well wrestled. The two problems I have with it though, are that first of all its a triple threat match and it follows the same formula as all triple threat matches in WWE (which I don’t need to describe again in detail). And secondly, both Rey and Orton tap out to Angle’s anklelock while the ref’s back is turned. I really thought that was dumb as it made them both appear weaker than Angle. If Misterio was going to be pushed as a legit champ, he should have won this match decisively in the center of the ring. This match also has the whole Eddie Guerrero exploitation hanging in the balance as well, and they show those awful clips of Orton telling Rey that Eddie is in hell before the match.

Torrie Wilson def. Candice Michelle: This is just two super hot ladies rolling around in their underwear. It is not Flair-Steamboat. It isn’t even JBL-Benoit. It probably should have been on Raw, not Wrestlemania. But I’m not complaining too much.

John Cena def. HHH: This is one of my favorite main events in Wrestlemania history. Both of the entrances are so awesome beforehand, but especially the King of Kings, a gimmick HHH should have stuck with. And then the two pull out all the stops and work an outstanding battle in the ring. You really have no idea who’s going to win as they both sell for, and kick out of seemingly everything before Cena finally wins with the STFU. The Chicago crowd is once again hilariously great as they cheer HHH wildly and boo everything Cena does. At the time I was cheering for Cena as he was one of my favorite wrestlers (which sure would change later on) and it was awesome to see him get the super victory in what could be described as his coming out match. Neither Cena or HHH would get too many more matches of this caliber after this.