We’re back in the Greensboro Coliseum, the MSG of the NWA, in front of a rabid red-hot crowd for Starrcade 84. The 1984 edition of Starrcade felt a lot like Wrestlemania 2. The NWA, while still very primitive, tried to up their production and the magnitude of the second card, but the action just didn’t deliver in the ring. The card was full of quick semi-jobber matches with a lot of weird booking and sloppy mistakes. Much like Starrcade 83, this show was built towards the mega main event, the first ever Million $ Challenge, as Ric Flair defended the NWA title against Dusty Rhodes with both men putting one million of their own money on the line. This was such a cool idea and made the main event seem like it was going to be so super, but instead it was a total flop, ruined by celebrity appearances. Yes indeed, not long before the WWF did it at Wrestlemania, the NWA was using pointless celebrities on their cards and ruining main events because of it. Once again Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are the commentators and treat this event as a serious sporting event, providing tons of stats and insight into the holds and psychology. I’ve actually come to greatly enjoy this style of commentary and it gives the NWA a whole different feel. The only issue with the commentators is that they definitely need to inject some more personality, as they come across as pretty dry and don’t really react to big moves or moments.
The NWA tried very hard to add some pizzazz to their broadcast. They featured a lot of entrance music for all of the main guys, which I will talk more about later, but the funny thing is that the good guys had 80’s pop hits, while the heels all used the same generic rock song. Seriously – the same entrance theme was used for nearly every heel on the second half of the card! They also had a really geeky laser light show in the middle of the event spelling Starrcade on the roof of the arena. Maybe this would have seemed cool in 1984, but it looked super nerdy now. As expected, this event was also filled with hilarious technical difficulties, the kind you would never see on a WWF broadcast. There were bad camera cuts, lights dying in the middle of promos, wrong musics played, bad cues from the director, awkward moments of silence, etc. These glitches made the NWA look pretty bush league in comparison to the polish of the WWF. Vince sure understood the need for quality production values! Now, on to the matches:
1. Denny Brown pinned Mike Davis (5:47) to win the NWA Junior Heavyweight Title
Right away the Wrestlemania 2 comparisons began. Much like Orndorff-Muraco this match was a mess. Both of these guys looked like Superstars jobbers and were totally basic in the ring. I’m not at all familiar with the NWA Jr. title, but it seemed like a sad state of affairs with these two competing for the belt. The ending is a total clusterfuck, as they do the old back suplex with both men’s shoulders on the mat and Brown lifts his shoulder at the last second to win the belt. Problem is the announcers miss it and say Mike Davis won the match. Even the ring announcer doesn’t announcer the winner because he too is confused. What a joke.
2. Brian Adidis pinned Mr. Ito (3:10)
This was nothing but a showcase for Brian Adidis, who looked pretty awesome here. He reminded me of a better Jim Powers, with a similar look and physique. He probably would have been too small by WWF standards, which is why he probably never got a chance there. Adidis was pretty awesome in the ring – but – won this match with an f’n airplane spin! Seriously, he just pinned Ito after an airplane spin, WTF!
3. Florida Champ Jesse Barr pinned Mike Graham (11:45)
Jesse Barr is the future Jimmy Jack Funk, and he was a great worker, as was Mike Graham. This was a surprisingly solid match, with lots of mat-based action. Both guys wrestled hard, and even though it wasn’t anything special it was still a good match with Barr retaining the belt by cheating.
4. The Assassin & Buzz Tyler beat The Zambuie Express (4:46) in an “elimination” match. The Assassin was the sole survivor
Oh man this was horrible! I so wanted to see Buzz Tyler get his ass handed to him, as he was a total dweeb, dancing and flapping around the ring. The Zambuie Express were two big fat black guys, one of whom was named Akeem! This match sucked hard, and once again it seemed like everyone forgot it was an elimination match and the announcers botched the call and the ending. The wrestlers looked lost and it was a complete abomination. Thankfully it was short. Even in the WWF at the time, there would never be this many screw-ups, especially when it came to match finishes.
5. Manny Fernandez beat Black Bart (7:35) to win the Mid-Atlantic Brass Knuckles Title
Here’s where the main matches of the evening begin. Fernandez enters to Michael Jackson’s Beat It and is super over with the crowd. Bart has a great bad guy look and is better in the ring than I expected. Because it’s for the Brass Knuckles title, the guys brawl instead of wrestling, showing me once again that hardcore wrestling was alive and well and done better in the NWA where it actually meant something. Fernandez is great in this match and picks up a big win.
6. Paul Jones pinned Jimmy Valiant (5:21) in a “loser leaves town tuxedo street fight” match
Paul Jones is a manager and Valiant has been feuding with him for a long time. Valiant is insanely over with the crowd. The WWE must have watched this match a hundred times as Valiant loses to a manager after JJ Dillon interferes on Jones’ behalf. Funniest part was Valiant ripping off Jones’ tuxedo at the start of the manager leaving him in his underwear, and that mega nerd Gordon Solie saying they may have to cut away from the action because this is a family program, lol!
7. Mid-Atlantic Champ Cowboy Ron Bass (9:06) beat Dick Slater via DQ
This was a feud based match. It was cool to see Bass outside of the WWF and realize that he was a pretty damn good brawler and wrestler. Slater is tremendous in this match and shows amazing intensity in the ring. He’s one guy that never reached his potential, but he was apparently a nightmare behind the scenes. Bass wins by a cheap DQ, which seemed pointless to me.
8. Ivan & Nikita Koloff beat Ole Anderson & Keith Larson (15:22) when Ivan pinned Larson
Another feud based match that was surprisingly good. The Russians had injured former heel Don Kernodle and nearly put him out of wrestling. Ole Anderson recruits Kernodle’s nephew Larson and goes after the Russians for revenge. Interesting twist to a tag team match. The faces isolate Ivan and beat the shit out of him for half the match to the delight of the red hot crowd before he manages to tag Nikita and the Russians take control. Larson sucks big time, no idea what happened to him. The heels dominate in the NWA and the Russians pick up a cheating win. Kernodle attacks with a crutch after the match earning the moral victory.
9. NWA TV Champ Tully Blanchard pinned Ricky Steamboat (13:14)
A blood feud with the TV title at stake. This was easily the best match on the card. Blanchard was amazing in the ring, and it’s so cool seeing Steamboat without the Dragon gimmick. Steamboat enters to Eye of the Tiger, which was a pretty cool idea! Both guys are tremendous wrestlers and tell a great story. Yet another weird booking decision as Blanchard cold cocks Steamboat with a foreign object directly in front of the ref and picks up the pin – WTF! The ref kind of ducks his head pretending not to see it. Steamboat should have won this one. Still an awesome battle!
10. NWA U.S. Champ Wahoo McDaniel pinned Billy Graham (4:12)
Holy fuck this was stupid! Graham enters with Kung Fu Fighting as his music and is under that stupid karate image that I’ve read about in his book. By this point in his career he’s useless in the ring, yet the fans are hyped for him – reminds me of Scott Steiner in the current times. McDaniel seriously wins this match with a chop! A fucking chop to the chest! Solie tries his best to sell it, but what was the point of this match? Also interesting, the NWA had a lot of guys who were shades of grey, like McDaniel who got a mixed reaction from the crowd.
11. NWA World Champ Ric Flair beat Dusty Rhodes (12:10) when special referee Joe Frazier stopped the match due to Rhodes’ excessive bleeding. Kyle Petty was a guest judge for this match
Okay, here we go with the main event! Prior to this match was a pointless 10 minute intermission that featured the commentators stalling for time and not knowing what to say, lol! Dusty Rhodes enters the ring to Purple Rain by Prince – what the fuck! He even has purple lights and a cheap firework goes off. Flair’s classic theme plays, but then it cuts into a country song to which he enters to. This card has major WTF moments! Celebrities completely ruin this match, and it’s a disaster of a main event. Frazier looks clueless in the ring and the announcers kept plugging boxing. What was with the obsession with boxing in wrestling in the mid 80s? The match starts getting better as it goes on, with both guys turning up the intensity. The stakes are high, so both guys should be pulling out all the stops. The stupidity starts when Flair busts open Dusty’s eye and mercilessly goes to work on it. Frazier keeps checking the cut and Flair keeps going after it. Finally Frazier calls for the bell and awards the win to Flair, huh? The announcers make a big deal that Frazier is used to boxing, not wrestling – then why the fuck is he refereeing the main event! Dusty cuts an awesome promo after the match threatening Frazier and Flair. The announcers admit that the ending is a big disappointment, which is what I felt, after this match was built up all night long.
Much like Wrestlemania 2, this event tries to hard to outdo the first and ends up flopping in my estimation. Not a memorable card to say the least.
the RepoDan Wrestling Institution 